By Marian Kupu

Family ties and culture in Tonga are very strong, but for a father to rape his 15-years-old daughter says different.

The abuser died in an accident a few months later. The 15-year-old gave birth to a baby boy and her mother continues the trend of abuse in her own way.

The abuse did not die with the abuser; instead the mother forced her daughter into a marriage to a man three times older than her. The abuse continues.

This story has not been published, nor has it been reported to the Tonga Police or any advocates of Family Violence. It took this young woman two years to break the silence and talk about the "mala" as Tongans describe it.

She found confinement with her aunty but she will never forget the many nights that seemed endless. She will never forget it for the rest of her life. The constant phrase every night was, "if you talk, I'll slit your throat."

As shocking and disgusting as it sounds, the reality of it and the fact that she was robbed of her youth is very real. The embarrassments, the need to respect and the rumours are too much to take in.

The hierarchical system in a typical Tongan family has built taboos between parents and children. The children cannot and will not dishonour his or her family, even if the right thing to do is to ask for help.

An advocate for Tonga's Ministry of Health, Fekita Taumo‘ua said, "Cases like this are rare, but to happen even once or twice is big and is a sin."

In a country where 95 percent of the population attends church services on Sunday we should not have such abuse tolerated.

According to a survey on domestic violence by the Women and Children Crisis Centre (WCCC), children are second in line to be victimized as a result of domestic violence, which includes physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse.

Safe house

The WCCC has a safe house for women and children who are victims of violence, and a spokesperson said they have taken in cases of children who have been sexually abused, "which are rare, but it's there."

Their service also covers seeking legal advice and protection from the perpetrator with the assistance of the Tonga Police and Legal Advisors.

Figures from the Tonga Police showed the growing numbers of domestic violence cases in women and children. The Police Commissioner Grant O'fee said, "Between the years 2000-09 there were 2,753 women recorded as victims of physical abuse and sexual assaults alone."

The domestic violence in these women has also affected the lives of the children involved - physically, emotionally and sexually.

It is alarming that in a small population like Tonga, 17 percent of married or ever-partnered women of varied ages had experienced sexual abuse, and this is a cause of great concern for the Tonga Police, the Ministry of Health and all related organizations.

There are still some sad untold stories out there, which are constrained from a lack of knowledge and the rights that each and every one is entitled to.

If this is happening to you, speak out, tell a friend, tell a stranger, it can be stopped and the monster can be brought to justice. "He won't hurt you anymore; all you have to do is speak out." It's ok.

Marian Kupu, a journalist and announcer with Broadcom Broadcasting, Nuku'alofa 89.5 FM, won the Journalism Award for the most newsworthy article revealing statistics and the current family violence situation in Tonga in the TNPC-IWD 2013 Journalism Awards programme.