Violence against women has become a way of life for some Tongan families, according to a report that was published last month by the Ma'a Fafine mo e Famili Inc., a local women's non government organization.

The research into the status of domestic violence against women in Tonga was the first of its kind, and carried out by a group of trained researchers, organized by the Ma'a Fafine mo e Famili Inc, and was funded by AusAID.

The research program has two components, a quantitative and a qualitative component, and though it covered the whole of Tonga it focused on selected 46 households, and interviewed 634 women; and 38 of these women were willing to give more in-depth information about their living conditions.

Some of the findings in the report:

- 77% of Tongan women and girls are affected by violence perpetrated by their fathers or teachers.

- 33% of women with permanent partners experienced physical violence and 17% experienced sexual violence.

- 23% of women with intimate partners experienced physical violence and 6% experienced sexual violence.

- 83% of all women interviewed agreed that a good wife obeys her husband even if she disagrees.

- 56% of women interviewed agreed with the statement that a husband could beat his wife if she was unfaithful.

- 3% of women interviewed agreed with the statement that a man could beat his wife if she was unable to get pregnant.

- Between 73% and 83% of the women interviewed believed that a wife has the right to refuse sex if the husband is drunk, if she is sick or if he mistreats her.

- 61% of the women agreed with the statement that a wife can refuse sex if she does not want to.

Some of the in-depth comments that were related by some of the women who were interviewed:

"The second time (that he almost killed me) was when I was pregnant. He was angry at me and wanted to hit me as usual so I ran away from him to one of my neighbours. He ran after me and on his way, he pulled out a 4 x 4 piece of timber from the fence next door and he came up and hit me hard on my back. He hit me again and I fell. The pain was agonizing. I lost my baby as a result of this." A woman from Tongatapu.

"When My husband comes to sleep with me, he is like an animal. If I refuse him, he will kick, punch, and beat me up. At one time, he left me and my children for a year and a half. When he came back, I thought that he had changed, but no . . . he only came back to me because the woman he was living with was pregnant. I know that if I get pregnant too, he will leave me again to find a woman who is not pregnant so that he could satisfy his needs." - A woman from Tongatapu.

"I am never allowed to go anywhere without my husband's permission. Even if I want to go to the shop to buy something, he will have to know. When we first got married, we lived with his parents but now we have our own little house. Before we moved to our house, his parents cautioned me not to go anywhere without my husband's permission. I was to remain at home, look after the children, prepare the food, and just do my daily chores. I was never allowed to go to the neighbours or to visit any other relative. My husband supported this and I am not allowed to go anywhere or join in any village or community function. The only place that I am allowed to go to is to church and to be in the church women's group." - A woman from 'Eua.

"I was in our outside kitchen one day frying some fish. My husband came home and he was drunk. He was angry at me and he picked up the coconut scraper and hit me hard on my mouth. I lost three teeth that day and luckily I did not lose the baby I was carrying." - A woman from Ha'apai.