Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter and actor Soa Palelei (38) has revealed his life long bout with depression ahead of the release of his book Face Your Fears.  Known as the “the Hulk” for his imposing 6’4 foot and immaculate frame, Soa is also known for his charity. Last year, he captured news headlines after he raised $120,000 for children at a Western Australian hospital but was barred from meeting the children because of the hospital’s opposition to cage fighting.

Soa (38) announced his retirement from MMA in October last year, two months after losing to Brazilian UFC fighter Antonio Silva. The Australian-born Tongan ended his MMA career with an impressive 22 wins (18 by knockout) and 5 losses. Soa is currently an actor, last year he played a lead role in Australian feature movie Zombie Ninjas vs Black Ops [2], he is currently acting as a Troll in the post-production of an Australian TV Series Boondock Alley.

Despite his accomplishments, Soa revealed that depression followed him even at the height of his success. He told the Fremantle Gazette, “It’s great to have such a high when you win – but then you go back to the hotel and you’re sitting back when there’s no one around and you get depressed”.

“Some of the thoughts I got back then went from the high of winning to ending my life. No more pain.”

Soa blamed his difficult childhood for his depression. He revealed that after arriving from Tonga at the age of 11, he endured daily beatings from his uncle. Soa told the Fremantle Gazette “When I was in the cage I used to laugh – I used to think what are you gonna do that I haven’t already had done to me?”.

“It used to amp me up. Let’s go, bring it on. I’ve just got so much anger inside me – But then the ref pulls me off and I just change. It’s a weird thing.”

Soa said that he has since managed his depression after seeking professional help. With his book Face Your Fears set to be launched on June 27, Soa hopes his book would help others with depression.

“It wasn’t really therapeutic writing the book because it’s talking about my past. It wasn’t easy,” he said.

“But hopefully people can take something from it and know there is help if they need it.”

Paleleimwho lives in Perth with his wife and children, was signed to Penguin Books.